When will he call me?

When will he call me?

You have had an argument with the man in your life. Maybe it was about something silly that escalated – he neglected to check in with you before he left work – or maybe the recent conflict has ties to something more serious, like his disapproval of the way you parent your children. A rift in your relationship has occurred. He stormed out, you freak out, then you call a Keen psychic and ask, “WHEN? When will he call me?”

I know that this is not the answer you want, but here it is: when he’s ready.

There is no foolproof method for a reader to use to determine when a couple will get together, talk about their issues, and work things out. Free will runs rampant in situations like this. The man in your life is probably angry right now, hurt and defensive. At this moment he is not open to hearing anything you have to say. It is in your best interest to stay calm, keep the focus on yourself, your family, and your own life, and let him come to you when he’s ready.

There are a few things you can do to keep yourself centered, calm, and prepared for the day when the two of you talk again.

Pray for help. Cry to heaven. Do this before you try anything else. Enough said.

Write it down. Journaling, taking a few notes, scripting your “reunion” scene with the man in your life will be of great help to you right now. Writing down your feelings about the fight will help you to get some things off your chest and onto paper, where you will be better able to understand them. Feelings might pour out of you that you had no idea you were harboring. Get out your laptop or a simple pen and paper and write down how you are feeling right now.

Decide what you want to say to him. This really goes along with my second point, write it down. What do you really want to say to your man to get the point across to him that his bad behavior is hurtful and will not be tolerated? In the days or weeks since you two had your argument, what have you discovered about yourself? Have you had any insights into why his behavior touched a nerve with you? How could you have reacted differently? Come up with a list of points you want to address when the two of you speak again.

Soften your tone. When your man resurfaces, it will be tempting to hurl a lot of angry, bitter words at him, but this is unproductive and will only push him further away or even end your relationship for good. Resist the temptation. The best way to communicate is with quick, short bursts of truth, and the less confrontational you are, the better. Ask yourself, how would I feel if someone I loved spoke to me this way? If you wouldn’t like it, neither will he. Be clear about your feelings and stand in you power, but choose your words carefully and be gentle.

Clarify what you need. It is crucial to be clear and direct with your man. Maybe you are feeling hurt and insecure that he hasn’t been spending enough time with you. All his time seems to be spent working, dealing with his children, helping his best friend move out of state, etc. All understandable but be very clear with him about what you want. “Look, when we don’t get to see enough of each other I really miss you. I would like a short phone call every day or two, a dinner together once a week, and let’s start planning that vacation to Miami.” You get the idea. The more direct and specific you can be with the man in your life, the better he is likely to respond.

Resolve to let him think about it all. Sometimes as women we want a response to our needs and feelings right now. A lot of men cannot or will not do that. Tell him how you feel, what you need, then say something like, “If you need to think about all this, I understand. Take all the time you need.”

In terms of timing, if this is a minor argument it will usually blow over within a week or two. If your conflict has arisen over a more serious issue it might take a month or two to reconnect in any sort of productive way. It takes most men eight weeks to start to miss you and wrestle with their pride enough to reach out to you. Write it all down now and when he calls, you will be ready.

Your relationship is worth saving, he’s worth keeping, and you are stronger than you think! Let’s do this 🙂